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It is alexithymi aif you're looking for a diagnostic term. And it is not a case of "you either have it or you don't" - Alexithymia is a continuum. There even exists a scale, which is a professional scale so to get it you need to pay for it and be a researcher, but tere you have it. It's called Toronto Alexithymia Scale (TAS-20). Look it up.

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