# Pathological distress caused by being discouraged to say “thanks” on online communities

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Please do not add a comment on your question or on an answer to say "Thank you". Comments are meant for requesting clarification, leaving constructive criticism, or adding relevant but minor additional information – not for socializing. If you want to say "thank you," vote on or accept that person's answer, or simply pay it forward by providing a great answer to someone else's question.

Given some people are taught from a preschool age to express thanks and this practice is reinforced throughout a lifetime. So coming to an online community can be difficult for some people not to express thanks.

What is happening psychologically when an individual has immense discomfort (to a point of preferring the discomfort of not complying with the wishes of an online community), that is almost compulsive in having to continue with an instilled social habit, such as expressing thanks.

Nb To me, it could be related to cognitive-dissonance, but this doesn't seem to be the correct term.

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thank you for asking this :) –  ladislas Oct 8 '13 at 7:32
@ladislas you are most very welcome, please feel free to ask any questions, even if it is for your own curiosity (aka personal needs) you can ask in the guise of a generalised question.. there are people who do that here :) –  user3543 Oct 8 '13 at 7:37

DISCLAIMER: I do not have any official education in cognitive sciences.

Maybe problem is not in saying "thank you", for me upvoting is very close to saying thank you. I think it is rather obvious what are benefits from discouraging "thank you", it would be hard to find real content in "thanks forest".

Perhaps people wish that receiver knows who said thank you

I Joe want Marc to know that 'I, Joe' am thankful.

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Lol a thanks forest, you made me smile, I really like the logic of your answer. It a whole different take on the question.. +1 (so you know ;) haha But there is still this issue of obligation, as I have now to give you feedback and thanks, which surpasses the vote, I want YOU to know I the OP am grateful. I don't have this with other people's post (sounds like other people's children.. good title for a movie) cheers and thanks, em thank you, em ty , em tyvm :P –  user3543 Oct 8 '13 at 13:02
Well, you actually changed my mind a bit, your first comment made me feel really good and happy, much more than ordinary upvote :) However, if it was "thanks" oneliner, effect would probably be much much weaker. –  GrizzLy Oct 8 '13 at 21:21
4 the comment was genuine minus the thanks joke, but what happens when a person posts a poor answer, and I am still compelled to thank them for their effort ps I'm not referring to me personally saying ty.. But it's getting confusing how to word it –  user3543 Oct 8 '13 at 21:30