Background Context: When at home, I feel like being myself - calm, free, productive, clearly thinking and wise person making logical decisions. But should any contact be made with outside world, through telephone or coming outside on street, I feel different. I start worrying and feel uncomfortable when people look at me, I start making mistakes when conversing with people and feel anxiety that makes me "lock up" which especially true when people raise their voice when someone has bad day for example which makes me feel it is my fault because I know I cannot perform well outside of my home. Maybe I said something stupid because of inability to think and behave like I usually behave at home? I may have good mood but it can be easily spoiled and I could be left feeling that way until next morning because sleeping usually relieves this.
The problem is that such behaviour causes problems because I cannot keep being me and make stupid mistakes while others think I am idiot. It seems in extreme situations I get so locked up, that I became freightened and lose my ability to express myself verbally and I can't stop and realize that I need to relax. On the phone with someone, this usually depends on voice and when it is unpleasant, angry it influences the dialog. Sometimes I need time to think, but feel that the other side is waiting for an answer for me and this makes me rush doing less logical choices throughout call. Strangely this happens with me when I communicate with relatives. But there is one person who I feel comfortable with and can be myself - my mom. Home is what makes me replenish my emotional tolerance and mom is the only person I feel comfortable with.
Questions
- What causes someone to feel confident and happy when inside the home, but lack confidence and feel anxious when outside the home?
- What interventions are effective in increasing confidence and reducing anxiety in such circumstances?
- Is this phenomena related to high levels of emotional sensitivity?
